So you guys are probably wondering what this post is going to entail, and frankly.. so am I! I want to make a post all about my experiences this far being a 21 year old wife and mother. I’m young, but I’m doing this, and so are countless other women. It’s time to stop judging.

Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be mom, I wanted to have children (with the right man, of course), and I wanted them young. I love kids, in fact, I grew up in a home of six of them, four of which I helped in diapers. I was destined to become a mom, and I’m so glad it happened sooner than later.

Dating my husband before he was my husband, we talked on and off about kids for a few months, but (call me crazy) within six months of being “official” we started trying for our first. We were ECCSTATIC when we found out I was pregnant, and to clear the air—Greyson WAS planned. I was nervous, as anyone is finding out they’re about to have a baby, but I was ready.

We had a lot of help offered to us, but I knew it was just because I was a young mom. Nobody really offers that much help to a couple in their upper twenties or thirties, it’s just a fact. And I don’t mean this bad AT ALL, I knew everyone meant well. But I was, and AM, capable of raising a child at the age of nineteen (when I had him). I am now twenty-one and doing this. And if I do say so myself, I’m f****** great at it too.

I’m sure all of the kids I went to school with look back and laugh at how I “didn’t get to live my life” but here I am. This is seriously what I’ve always wanted, and now I feel complete. I thought life was as good as it was going to get when I was in college, and honestly it kind of put me in this weird depression, because I was watching my “good years” go by, but here I am LIVING MY BEST LIFE and SHARING THAT WITH MY CHILD. I am living the life and loving my life!

Okay now that I’m done rambling, I just want to share some things that I’ve learned as a young mom and things I wish I knew before my “trial-and-error” period.

  • People LOVE giving their input, and you don’t have to take that sh**. Everyone told me how to do things, how to raise my child, and I always listened, but most of the time I didn’t take their advice. I’m hard-headed and I love figuring things out on my own, and when it comes to my children, I want to do things how I want. Not how everyone else wants. “You need to buy him this to be the healthiest he can”, “he can only eat this brand”, etc. Heck no. I may be young, a first mom, and not as experienced as you, but we all start somewhere! Let me figure these things out.
  • People care way more about your career future than ever before. I am not finishing school, and that’s my choice. Several young couples decide to go back at a later date and some don’t. It’s what YOU want to do, and no one should judge you or tell you what to do when it comes to your future/career.
  • You are living your best life NOW. I don’t care if you went and saw the pyramids in Egypt when you were ten and traveled Africa when you were twelve. THIS. IS. YOUR. BEST. LIFE. Your children are your pride and joy, and this is what your life is. Live it and you’ll love it!!
  • You’re young. Your body will most likely bounce back, but if it doesn’t right away.. it’s not the end of the world. You put your body through hell and back for that little baby, and I expected to look like the world’s hottest swimsuit model after having that baby, but guess what.. I was wrong. I wish I would have had a little fair warning on that one, I kind of had high expectations because my mom looked GREAT after having us kids, so I expected that right away. NOPE. I looked like a busted can of biscuits. But that busted can of biscuits carried my beautiful baby, so I guess it was okay ; )
  • Planning your next one already is OKAY!! I’m only twenty-one and we are planning our next. People think we’re crazy for wanting another so young, but some people are more ready than others! We just happen to be those people. Don’t let other people’s input and opinions keep you from having a bigger family so young. It’s your life gf, I support you.
  • You’re going to be the youngest in the mom group, but hey, you keep them young! All of my mom friends swore I was twenty-five or older and I had to physically pull out my ID from my wallet just to prove that I was still a minor! They all got a kick out of it, but I am always the baby of the group. I’m just excited that I can participate in “GNO’s” at the bars hehe.
  • People are going to be rude, and people are going to kiss your a$$. It’s life. You’re going to hear things like “was your baby planned?”, “you missed out on your whole life.”, “are you still with the father?”, etc. And then you’re going to get those people who were complete jerks to you before they found out you were pregnant and suddenly they want to be your best friend. It’s life, and unfortunately, us young moms can’t get away from the harsh comments and a$$ kissers.
  • ENJOY! As much as the late nights and one hour periods of sleep suck, your baby is growing each and everyday. Enjoy the time you spend with them, they grow so fast. That little human is yours, and they love you unconditionally. They are as proud of you as you are of them, and there is nothing more innocent than that.

Young mamas, and mamas in general, I am so incredibly proud of all of us! Whether we know what the hell we are doing or not, we’re doing it and kicking a$$ and taking names! We rock! And our kids love us no matter what. Thank you for everything you do as a mother and giving moms such a rockin’ title!




  1. Nana
    May 29, 2018 / 11:27 am

    Great advice Ashten! I am so proud of you and you are such a great mom! Greyson is one lucky little man!

    • Ashten.Engelman
      May 29, 2018 / 11:54 am

      Thanks nana! Hope you’re having a wonderful time! We miss you! : )

  2. Tiffany
    June 1, 2018 / 2:57 pm

    I love you girl! I miss you too! You are a strong beautiful mother and friend!

    • Ashten.Engelman
      June 1, 2018 / 5:01 pm

      Thanks Tiff!! Love and miss you too!! Hope you’re doing well! 🌸

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